| Via Feministe |
[Dec. 9th, 2009|01:46 pm] |
When Allies Fail Part I
When Allies Fail Part II
this section of part II has been getting some debate:
First, marginalized people are the owners of the anti-racist and feminist/womanist movements. The outcomes of the movement are about our humanity, our treatment, our futures, our children. Our fight is based not on empathy, but lived reality. Yes, racism and sexism ultimately effect everyone, no matter their race or gender. But, for instance, women involved in the feminist movement feel the urgency for change much more strongly than our male allies. We are more invested, I think. I say this not as a slight against men. It is the rare human being who is not most invested in things that effect them directly.
Second, marginalized people, like POC, have historically been oppressed. As a result, we adapt to living in a society that does not treat us as equals and sees us as “other.” We try to conform. We code switch. We hide our culture. We change our physicality to match that of the majority culture. We hold our tongues in the face of the everyday dull aches of racism. We do this every day, both consciously and unconsciously.
It does not seem right, then, that historically oppressed people, while working within our own safe spaces in movements for our own liberation, have some responsibility to the feelings of privileged people–the historic oppressors–even those who call themselves allies. Haven’t we earned a permanent high ground through centuries of mistreatment? Surely we don’t have to make gentle our words, hide our anger, wear the mask (TM Paul Laurence Dunbar) even while fighting for our own equality. Do feminists have a responsibility for maintaining relationships with men? Do anti-racist people of color have a responsibility for maintaining relationships for white people?
If we want them as allies…yes.
We have a responsibility to treat our allies with respect and humanity. It is the same responsibility that every person has to another. This notion of human regard is the very foundation of equality movements. We cannot demand justice while mirroring injustice. We definitely should not feel a need to “wear the mask” in our own safe spaces in order to make privileged people more comfortable. But we can act with compassion. When we do not, we fail at maintaining alliances. And allied relationships are too important to lose.
I think there's a reasonable line in acting with compassion when someone is clueless and in recognizing that there are limits to where my compassion ends that might not be where other people's do, and not getting upset at those others for having limits that might be shorter than mine are.
I'm a bit concerned about this part:
Don’t be a bully. Marginalized people have a right to our anger and disgust at injustice. We do not have a right to browbeat our supposed allies. Alliances need to be based on mutual respect to work effectively. An environment where the “in group” is always angry and right and the “out group” is always prostrate, sorry, cowering and wallowing in guilt is unhealthy and unproductive in achieving the goals of equality work.
in that it doesn't give a concrete answer as to what bullying looks like. |
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| Holiday Wishlist meme |
[Dec. 9th, 2009|03:45 pm] |
( Read more... )
My wishes:
1) A job that I won't hate, and that pays more than UI. I'm experienced in product support for B2B software/web applications, ground level product testing, sales, marketing, and customer service. I've worked retail, and have some mid level team-management experience.
2) Better mental health for ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) rosefox.
3) A local workout buddy for jogging. Preferably in the morning.
4) T-shirts, size large men's. If you have ones you were thinking of getting rid of, send them my way. One can never have too many.
5) Help getting motivated to do work. Self motivation sucks for me. It's easier if I'm working for someone, but when I'm not, I should be doing something, and it's not easy just getting up and doing it.
6) A place where I can re-learn blacksmithing for free/super cheap, and someone who can teach me.
7) Ask me to visit you if you're living withing cheap transit range (Bolt/Chinatown/Fung Wah or NYC Transit). Set up a day and help me get out of the house.
8) Cook with me. Come by my place, cook a meal. It'll be fun. And cheap.
9) A local RPG to join. I miss gaming.
10) When she's feeling better, freelance work for rosefox
This now moves into the costly stuff. No one is under any obligation, but if you feel like spending money on me, here's what I want that costs money.
1) Clothing from Gentleman's Emporium (This was a popular option in my "what should I get for holiday gift form parent" meme, but I got the phone anyway)
2) A chest freezer
3) Book shelves
4) Money to help pay for rosefox's psych treatment. It's horribly expensive. We will go into more debt paying for it. But whatever. It's necessary.
5) Another nice work suit. Because who doesn't like suits?
6) Nice ties. I have simple taste in ties, so nothing flashy. Blues and greens are good.
7) A trip to CA for me.
8) A trip to London for rosefox and me.
9) A non ripped king sized comforter for my bed
10) new pillows
11) A bigger micro SD card for my phone (it takes up to 32 gig, and has 2 gig now)
12) A new drive for my laptop (I have a 112 gig drive now, would like 200 or more). Technically I'd like an all new Powerbook with a bigger drive, but that's not likely, is it?
13) Driving lessons, my driving license, and membership in Zipcar
rosefox's wishlist
regyt's wishlist
yuki_onna's wishlist
If you want me to add a link to your wishlist, let me know. If you want books, and don't mind getting random stuff that I can only promise I'll try and get to suit your tastes, also let me know. It's a lean holiday season and I'm so broke my debts have debts, but I can manage a stack of free books from time to time. |
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| Ringtones! |
[Dec. 6th, 2009|01:05 pm] |
My new phone seem to be persnickity on ringtone management. Despite that, tests have indicated that I can manage MP3 ringtones. SO far I've got the Buckaroo Banzai ringtone rosefox made for me ages ago for her, Stan Getz playing Samba Des Days for auntyglory, and Johnaton Coulton's Code Monkey for glib_ditchotomy.
If you were to get a custom ringtone on my phone, what would it be? My standard tone defaults to "Hard Times/Topsy Turvy" by Cab Calloway.
Right now on the phone I have "
Baby You're a Rich Man
Buckaroo Banzai theme
Code Monkey
Geeks in Love
Hard Times
Move
Mr. Blue Sky
Samba Des Days
Solo Cello suites by Bach, Suite #4 in E Flat Major, Bouree |
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| My only comments on the NY State marriage proposal |
[Dec. 3rd, 2009|06:42 pm] |
1) We won't give up, and we will remember Democrats who voted "no"
Joseph Addabbo (district 15), Shirley Huntley (district 10), William Stachowski (district 58), Darrel Aubertine (district 48), Carl Kruger (district 27), Rubén Díaz (district 32), George Onorato (district 12) and Hiram Monserrate (district 13).
None of you fuckers are getting back in office in the next primary if I have anything to say about it, unless you change your tune. I'll raise money on the street if I have to.
2) That last name? Hiram Monserrate? He was indicted for slashing his girlfriend's face with broken glass. Convicted of misdemeanor assault. And this piece of shit thinks he's able to judge what an assault on marriage is? Him I don't care if he changes his mind. He's out no matter what.
3) My local senator, Eric Schniederman, voted for the bill. I sent him email thanking him. |
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| Who? |
[Dec. 2nd, 2009|10:51 pm] |
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Who in NYC has a copy of Doctor Who: The Waters of Mars they can burn for me? |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 2nd, 2009|04:35 pm] |
My husband has informed me that we have officially entered the holiday zone, in which I am forbidden from buying anything for myself until after Christmas.
*twitch*
As you were, people - |
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| Recent events, in reverse order |
[Dec. 1st, 2009|07:26 pm] |
(because I'm perverse that way)
( Tues, Mon and Sun )
Sat
The entertaining day. I made brunch, testing out dishes I intend to serve for a future brunch party. A couple of friends sampled the items. The chilaquiles casserole (tortilla wedges baked with green sauce, chorizo and cheese, topped with avocado slices and cilantro sprigs) was delicious but looked appallingly bad once a serving spoon lifted out portions. O ye who entertain: is this a deal-breaker?( Sat, Fri and Turkey Day ) |
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